We Are the Normal

We are the normal We live and we die
With no reason why
We are the normal
We live and we die
With no reason why

-Goo Goo Dolls (We are the normal)

As everyone knows me online in a general sense, between Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat, and even Pinterest. I am pretty popular, amongst the Top Gear/Grand Tour, Supernatural, Green Day, Evanescence fandoms and bandoms. 

In all honesty, it's a mask to help me cope with my mental illnesses. I seem to have depression. You see as a young girl (ripe age of 16) I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Which is a mild form of Autism. I felt different even before high school. People bullied me for my weight, calling me fat and ugly. My facial features are not up to par of modern beauty standards either. Dealing with ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) that generally comes with an Autism diagnosis. Which could overlay in my opinion with Bipolar and Depression as well. Well for me anyways. I've been called weird for my attachment issues as well. I was bullied behind my back in high school where people shit talked me for absolutely no reason at all. The funniest thing is that when people found out I was biromantic/bisexual I have been called some pretty nasty homophobic slurs on my way home from school as well. I was minding my own business where I wore a blue plaid tunic like shirt with a black tank underneath, black leggings, and these generic ass converse, because that's all I could have afforded at the time.

I must admit I'm no saint either, I've done shit I have regretted. I had major crushes on teachers in the past, and if any of y'all are reading this, I sincerely apologize for my behavior. I'm wired a little differently and don't mean any harm.

Also in the past I've self-harmed, pulled a knife out at my family, kicked my teacher (2nd grade) threw desks, threw chairs. No one really understood why I got so aggressive (due to the ODD)

But setting that all aside, Everyone thought I was an extrovert. WRONG. I consider myself to be an introvert in many ways. I'd rather stay to myself, and have only a few good friends throughout high school; yet I blended with others decently well considering Autism is a social disorder. My interests, very few people knew what I was into at the time (minus family) Music, I tended to keep to myself as well. I didn't want to be bullied in a school where majority listened to the worst rap/hip hop music, Jonas Brothers (in 2008) Bieber, and other music I consider (still consider) to be the worst music possible.

If I could go back knowing what I know now, I'd blast Mozart, then blast "dad rock" for an example Pink Floyd, my dad loves them. One of the few artists my dad likes that I'm not embarrassed to say I enjoy them. Now KISS on the other-hand, is a guilty pleasure, and I wouldn't admit to liking them at all.